—Albert Sloan. While someti... About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features But it was just a Fanta sea. Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? Ray’s friends claim he’s a baseball nut. At coolpun.com find thousands of puns categorized into thousands of categories. Or maybe it all started in the Middle Ages when, by a long shot, the Trebuchet was the most powerful weapon? Chances are, you'll hear some crosswords. The doctor left the room and came back with The Labrador Retriever. Thus came about the phrase, "He who has a Tate's is lost." What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make? A: A pouch potato, Q: What did the volcano say to his wife? 11. Why did the glass of water turn into a cloud? I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. I’m not really a mourning person. 15. A: Hands up! Scroll down below and check out some of the funniest posts about Apple’s Watch. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race? Want to hear something terrible? Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months. Q. They are a hilarious play on words. How many trains did you derail last year?" We also have more than 120 categories of puns. literalism. A. Ireland. One neighbor’s Wi-Fi really stood out: “You Kids Get Off My LAN!”. The doctor left the room again and came back with a cat. Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple, Q: What do you get when two dinosaurs crash their cars? Roughly 80 to 200 puns per episode. We call him the Village Idiom. Punwatch, a podcast quiz game about news headline puns. 10. The Supreme Quart. As normal these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… A friend of mine bought me a watch that has stopped working, but I haven’t told them yet. Super funny puns! It ended in a tie! Q. 15 Time Puns about watches and clocks! Time Pun 6 Why did the kid put his clock in the oven? I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl a chili. Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. Puns Ville started in 2013 providing funny puns about several things sorted into categories. She said, "Wii.". Time Pun 4 What time is it when you sit on a pin? You can only ran, because it's past tents. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction. Q: What happened to the guy who sued over his missing luggage? The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. Very funny puns. Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. (Sorry.). He says they’re way off base. They have a dry sense of humor. A. Hilarious puns part 2. Did you hear about the auto body shop that just opened? It's very time consuming. Sen. Kamala Harris (D-CA), the presumptive Democrat VP nominee, made waves following an appearance on Ellen where she laughed hysterically with host Ellen DeGeneres after joking about murdering President Trump.. At the time of the appearance, April 2018, Harris remained tight-lipped about her presidential aspirations but answered a series of questions about her first celebrity crush, … As usual, many took jabs at Apple and its first foray into wearables and instantly shared jokes ons social media. —Gary Delaney, comedian. Q: What do you call and alligator in a vest? It was such a nice jester! I find them quite re-markable. And More Puns: I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. What do you have to do to have a party in space? A. I held up my watch to a mirror. Compasses for the pioneers traveling west were their first new endeavor. A watch dog! A buccaneer. A hippo is really heavy, and a Zippo is a little lighter. Q. 1. Time Pun 5 What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver? Don't interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between the pot he uses to make potions and his best friend? 17 funny quotes, jokes and sayings about TELEVISION from famous comedians Therefore, It is Puns Ville, your ville that is filled with cute, bad, funny puns. Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak. The only thing better than a good pun (wait—is there such a thing?) A: Thunderwear, Shout out to the people who ask what the opposite of "in" is. The Best Jokes about Watches ... A social worker asks a colleague: "What time is it?" I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell. A. #AppleLive A: Gummybear, Q: How do you organize a space party? Pork chop, Q: What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? Every day it's Dublin. Towels can’t tell jokes. The first one: "Never mind! The main thing is that we talked about it." A: T-Rex, Q: What job did the frog have at the hotel? The best thing about these puns is that they incorporate so many other items just as the sandwich itself does. Q: Why shouldn't you visit an expensive wig shop? Travelers would sometimes end up in Canada or Mexico. Episode 501 of Punwatch, with a … I did a theatrical performance on puns. BuzzFeed Staff. ... An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I ... More jokes Having it on your wrist? Prophets are going through the roof. If you like puns you will love this pun site. You know the kind we're talking about, the bad puns and one-liners so ridiculous and stupid that they make you wince, and you laugh even though your brain is … Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on. I'm a big fan of whiteboards. sign. All these sea monster jokes are just Kraken me up. Read up on our best puns ever including our word puns and you’ll be punstoppable. By January Nelson Updated October 30, 2018. What do you do with a dead chemist? A. I guess we'll just have to make dew. Don't go bacon my heart. is a really, really bad one. A: A commentator, Q: How do you put a baby alien to sleep? We have the funniest puns about food, animals, bad, good, best puns ever. ... referee be a game warden? Paper. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind. It had too many sleepless knights. (Credit: justbadpuns on tumblr), My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. That genre is puns about puns. The public safety officer shook his head and muttered, “Who can resist a Barbie queue?”. What does a clock do when it's hungry? 1. 92. The Ice Is Right. eBay is so useless. I don't know Y. It was a play on words. My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. A: It wasn't peeling well, Q: What do you call a classy fish? A: You're one in a melon. 95. One can only imagine where the roots of puns are hidden. Comments. They make up everything! Puns are a type of figurative language. A Maybe, What do you call a pig that does karate? Peter….he slept on his watch. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. I couldn't if I fried. A nervous wreck. Do not be alarmed though. Trying to get online at my mother-in-law’s, I scrolled through various Internet access names. You can make a pun about anything: There are cat puns, egg puns, cheese puns, coffee puns, and many, many other types of puns. Whenever I undress in the bathroom, my shower gets turned on. How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A: An investigator, Q: What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Funny pictures of really horrible, and terribly lame puns that will make you regret the day you Googled it. I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell. double meaning. They're both cauld ron. A Crookodile, What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? You can subscribe to the podcast, if you’re so inclined, via RSS or iTunes. It’s never the right time. Attire. Ever tried eating a clock? Isn't that where all the fruit is? I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches. We recommend our users to update the browser. The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense. A dino-snore. A: Bellhop, Q: What do you call a pig that does karate? Q: What did the watch say to the clock? The public safety officer came up to a large mob of people outside a department store and asked, “What’s happening?”, A mall officer replied, “These people are waiting to get the new Barbie doll.” Q. I tried to find 10 more really good puns that made me laugh, but no pun in 10 did. watch. 6:30 is the best time on a clock… hands down. The public safety officer came up to a large mob of people outside a department store and asked, “What’s happening?” A mall officer replied, “These people are waiting to get... A lizard walks into a bar pushing a baby in a stroller. The other one answers: "Sorry, don't know, I have no watch." 12. A: Hoodini, Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor? 14. In a Nutshell. 93. "Because he's my newt.". Puns. Could a ... ... librarian be called a bookkeeper? asks the bartender. https://24diamonds.blogspot.com/2009/08/10-jokes-about-watches.html What a waste of thyme. The cat also sniffed the dingo and shook its head. Long time no sea. ... cabinetmaker be the president? Q. I asked my French friend if she likes to play video games. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" Time Pun 3 What dog can tell the time? Watches can be displayed and sold on a time table. Those who write clock jokes…you gotta hand it to them. Spring time. Genius. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. (Credit: @hogwartslogic on Twitter), Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. I can only wear them to church. A man heard he had to move his clock forward for daylight savings….he took it out of the bedroom and put it in the living room. A: Sofishticated, Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth? I bought five watches the other day. —Gary Delaney, comedian. 39 Watch Puns ranked in order of popularity and relevancy. I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize. 13. Although they produced fine and accurate watches, the same was not true of their compasses. A: You rocket, Q: What do you call a thieving crocodile? A: You planet. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? It stood up on its hind legs and sniffed the dingo and shook its head. Why can't you run through a campground? 2) If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. January 4, 2021 / Punwatch. Welcome to Puns Ville! ... dairyman be a cowboy? A: A crookodile, Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Ellen DeGeneres. Q: Why did the girl sit on her watch? Why can’t lakes move? A. We’re back! There are no answers as to when … Why not go out on a limb? It doesn't make any cents! Where do water droplets go to settle arguments? Hal: How did you get hit on the head with a book? Some watch puns are pretty common like, “I lost my watch but could never find the time to look for it” or even “being a watchmaker is the best job because you can make your own hours. —Submitted by J. Lee, There's a guy in town who walks around talking to himself using only figurative language. Sandwich puns can be so hilarious yet satisfying for those looking for one liners to make up for boring and unoccupied times. My socks got really holy. Punwatch 501 – Sleepless Knights. See? You barium. (Credit: justbadpuns.com), Q. After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, “Are you going to eat that?” Something about the mechanical alarm clock rings a bell. I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time. 50 Quick Funny Puns That Will Crack You Up In Five Seconds Flat By January Nelson Updated October 30, 2018. I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time Do hungry time-travellers ever go back four seconds I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time. And then everything crashed. The double meaning jokes here may at first show a little discrepuncy. Shop. Analog, digital, fancy, cheap, specialty and basic are just a few of the different types of watches you may come across. 5) If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it’s Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to “Happy Hour.”. I told you it was tear-able. Q. Or perhaps it was the era of the Renaissance when people just couldn't Handel the music of Handel? A. If only I had known about her history of violins. The other says, "I'm a big metal fan.". 82.77 % / 7494 votes. Time Pun 2 What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend? A. She had really great self-esteam. by Tanner Greenring. Time to get a new watchdog. What television game show does water like to watch? Q: What did the robber say to the clock? A: I lava you, Q: What do you call and owl that does magic tricks? A: He lost his case. So the doctor … Why was King Arthur's army too tired to fight? Q: Why did the man put a clock under … Q. Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population? But her aim is steadily improving. I said, "Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!". It goes back for seconds. 4) If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. A: She wanted to be on time! (Credit: justbadpuns.com), I'm only friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. "Tiny," says the lizard. A: Pork chop, Q: What do you call an everyday potato? (Credit: @punnstagram), What do you call a thieving alligator? "What's your kid's name?" 1. The topic for this week’s one liners and puns is watch jokes. Was it The First Humans who mistakenly called the Sabertooth tiger a Lightsabertooth tiger? Bad Jokes That You Can’t Help but Laugh At, Funny Photos That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud, Cheesy Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed to Get a Laugh, The Absolute Best Funny Movies of All Time, Weird Facts You Never Knew About Laughter, Work Cartoons to Help You Get Through the Week, Clever Wedding Jokes Perfect for Any Speech, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell My Personal Information – CA Residents. But while all puns are an achievement in word-smithery to some degree, one genre of pun stands out above the rest as the most advanced. It was time for reflection. One liner tags: puns. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? An atom loses an electron… it says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”. They are really loch-ed in. My ex-wife still misses me. Sal: I only have my shelf to blame. How many trains did you derail last year?” I said, “Can’t say... A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. vehicles. Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box. (Credit: justbadpuns on tumblr). What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain? The pun is intended. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. (Credit: justbadpuns.com). It’s impossible to put down. But so help me god if you're a pedestrian and you so much as put a finger on this vehicle-designated watch... - Matty Malaprop. A: Hour you doing? 82.77 % / 4185 votes. A. I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. 3) If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. It comes highly wreck-a-mended. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili. You have to Planet. 94. So excited for the Apple Watch. Q: Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Sadly, he lost his case. 36 entries are tagged with watch puns. I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell. 2. A good definition of a pun is a play on words, where a jokester mixes up two words that are similar but have different meanings. One liner tags: IT, life, puns.